I thought I would be so excited to be turning in my thesis today. I thought I would have a huge sense of relief, and lots of joy. Instead, I still had nightmares last night and felt panicked when I went to turn it in. My teacher lives in McMinnville so we had to have our thesis papers post-marked and sent to her by December 10th. I was feeling very nervous as I headed to the post office this afternoon. I have spent the past 4 months researching, writing, and working on this one paper. I have thought about this paper day and night. I was so ready for it to be over, but not ready to give it up (yes, I know that doesn't make sense. Just stick with me).
So I pull up to the Gree Hills post office. I pull out my camera, because this is a blogable moment. I was excited to ask a stranger to take a picture of me and my finished paper at the post office getting ready to send. After what seems like an hour of finding the perfect mailing combination (I decided on priority mail with a delivery confirmation) I take my hard work to the post office attendent. She takes one look at it and tells me that I can't have the clip on my paper or it won't go through the mail machine.
After what seems like five minutes of silence, I insist that I NEED that clip on my paper. Please note, this is not a paper clip. This is an alligator clip (I think) that you need for thicker documents. I just stood there and kept thinking of all those papers flailing about without the clip to keep them together. I tell the lady at the post office that I HAVE to have that clip.
And then it happens......
I broke down. Right there in the post office. I started to cry. I didn't just tear up, but I started to cry... hard. I tried to stop, but I just couldn't. I started to search frantically for a box to put it in. I needed to find a bigger package so my paper could keep the clip. I tried to discuss different options with the post office worker, but I would not listen to any options that didn't include this clip. I think I even used the phrase "I don't care how much it costs" more than during the conversation.
And then it got worse....
I can't stop crying. I can't even think straight. I just need to mail this paper and get out. But then she asks..... "Are you on your cycle?" I thought I could just die right there. I quickly stopped crying, got a regular paper clip that doesn't belong on a paper of this size, pay, and leave.
I really don't know why I started crying. I guess all the stress just caught up to me. I do know, however, that I will not be able to go to that post office for a long time. I am so happy to have mailed it off today. Hoping for a good nights sleep tonight!
7 hours ago